Look at me

Eyes. Think of all of the sayings about eyes. Look at me when I talk to you. I couldn't look him in the eye. The eyes are the windows into the soul. I never really thought about how important a look could be until recently. A few weeks ago I got to spend a week with my grandson. Day 1 I was focusing on the "schedule". Breakfast, lunch, snack, nap - well you get the picture.  I even had alarms on my phone to keep me on time.  That is until story time when after the stories he stretched out across my lap in hopes of a song and looked up at me with hopeful eyes, eyes that weren't clouded by other thoughts, waiting expectantly and when I had no magic songs he looked gently at me and said that is ok. They were eyes that looked into your soul. Eyes that break your heart.  A few weeks later I spent some time with my granddaughter. We play wrestled.  And then she looked up at me with these clear unshielded eyes and I fell in love again.

Look away, look away for fear your life will change.  I remember sitting for hours holding babies studying their tiny features, listening to their breathing, smelling their baby smells.   It is the time you fall in love, the time that bonds you to them in a way that can never be broken.  I think they become imprinted on your soul.  As much as you love your spouse it can never be the same as the irrational love you have for the children who capture your soul.  If you aren't sure you can endure the challenges of loving one more person so totally - look away.  Don't feel their gentle breaths, don't breath in their sweet sweaty baby smells, don't look into their eyes or you will be lost.