Mortality

For the past six months I have been mentally car shopping. My favorite car was edging closer to the magic 90,000 miles. My warranty is up at 100,000 and it loses all trade in value. I love my Pacifica but they don't make it anymore. The Dodge clone just didn't make my heart pound and the Mercedes sister was way to expensive. So I started the process of oogling cars in the parking lots.

One of the criteria was smaller. Our garage will house both our cars but it would be much happier with two regular cars. Mine was a little too wide for a comfortable fit.

I thought about how I used my vehicle, how much I drove, any special requirements. I decided that if I needed a third row of seats I could rent a car for that special trip.

Hubby encouraged me to drive a Pathfinder from his dealer. They promised a great deal and that it was totally new and drove more like a car.

Finally I was ready and when Hubby was home for several days I said I was ready for a test drive. Always a sweetie he said why don't we start with a Chevy since I had really liked a Traverse I had driven for a few weeks while my car was in the shop. We headed out to the GMC dealer on the way to the Nissan dealer because they had some nearly new possibilities on the lot so we stopped there first.

Long story shortened after test driving several options the sales man left me to meditate on my choice. The two final candidates were parked facing the windows just waiting to be chosen. One was too macho and the other made great sense. Good price, all the options I wanted, low mileage. But - something was missing. So I said okay you had another option a new Buick. It had all the options on my must have list so he pulls it up and I settle in for a test drive. By then I had given up on the long route and was into the basic test. Pull out of dealer, turn into my Dr parking lot and pull into space, back into space, do a u-turn, gun it to leave lot. Somewhere between the dealer and the parking lot I knew it was my car. So what was the feature that sold me?

I will be 70 when I trade this vehicle in - four years 80,000 miles - maybe 71 if I drive less in the next few years. I could not see myself getting in and out of the GMC. It looked like a truck, it was tough and durable and practical. I wanted something slightly elegant, safe, great visibility, a few bells and whistles and enough seats to be the designated driver on "girls night out". So there it is. I could see myself at 70 inching this vehicle into a parking space at the grocery store. It's a Buick and yes the driver's seat is very comfy!

Saturday

Tomorrow Ashby's parents sail up the Chesapeake and drop anchor at the port.  They are spending their last childless night and hopefully having fun, even though they are waiting impatiently for chubby fingers and crazy head conversations.  It is hard for me to believe it has been a week.  He and I are just settling in to a routine and I will miss the way he greets the morning with total abandon and finds way to make just riding his bike a game of imagination. 

I need to give credit to everyone who made this week happen.  John and Karen started the ball rolling with the gift of the cruise.  After much coordination a week was chosen far enough in advance I could clear my calendar to be the babysitter.  That was the easy part.  Meagan spent time writing down everything I needed to know - from food preferences to schedule.  She included letters of authorization and membership cards to all of his favorite places.  She stocked the freezer with meals and the fridge with parts.  She hired a dog walker, which at first I poo-poo'd but am eternally grateful for Liz who came for the morning and late afternoon poop duty.  And my sister - "who lives in the next block" for your Balmoreans' cleared her calendar to be the afternoon magic.  Every morning Ashby would ask - "Is Mary Jean coming today?"  By Thursday he answered his own question - with when she finishes teaching school she will come.  Three mornings were filled with pre-school and gym class,  MJ filled Friday with a trip to a little known park that included a 'walk in the forest', and Grandpa Merrithew and Mimi whisked him off to the train museum and lunch on Saturday.  MJ was here to either help with or do bath and stories before bed.

MJ and I had fun teaching Ashby some new skills, and he is pretty proud of himself for getting his muscles working.  He has climbed to the top of the dragon, run across the hanging bridge, climbed the coiled ladder and pulled himself up the rock wall.  Today he rode his bike a million miles at top speed around the park and here at home.  He was chased by lions and was the emergency man who raced to the rescue ringing his bell.  He rode through puddles, including one that ended up being a little deeper than anticipated.  I have washed his shoes twice this week from puddle stomping.

I relearned patience while he has been learning to dress himself.  Reminding myself that the daily 'joke' of putting two legs in the same leg hole of the underwear, pjs or pants is immensely funny to a pre-schooler and tried to stifle my desire to say just get on with it.  I had forgotten that repitition is the way we all learn and been excited when he got up this morning and knew that he should take off his pj's and go potty first thing while I brushed my teeth.  He was pretty proud of himself and was preparing to get his pjs back on by laying them on the floor to wiggle in - of course he had to put to legs in the right leg first and asked if this looked right! 

I am sure it will take his parents a week to put the house back in order and find where I may have misplaced things.  His menu has probably been askew but I have done my best to keep the balance of protein, carbs, fruits, vege's and dairy.  We have eaten together as either the two of us or all three every night beginning with grace and ending with I'm all done.

I have tried to pick my battles and find ways to keep him busy and active.  When he was feeling very lazy because his MJ was not coming that day right after nap, I told him he could wear his pj's to the gas station while I filled the tank and took the car through the car wash.  Spending several minutes in the soapy car wash prompted him to want to wash his cars so we filled up a bowl with bubble bath bubbles and he tracked down a spray bottle and spent an hour by the garage washing his cars and a few trucks.  He carefully pre-sprayed them, before rubbing them clean with bubbles and then moving them to the hair dryer area.  He was very impressed with the big blowers at the end of the car wash.  I admit I let him stay in pjs.  We had already gone through two sets of play clothes and one pair of shoes in the morning at the park and everything was in the wash. 

This afternoon he was in high energy mode.  MJ and I took him to the park, he rode his bike all the way, climbed on a few toys and then raced around the perimeter of the play area on his bike.  After dinner he and I went out with his bike down the alley and around the neighborhood first looking for fires, then transitioning to finding food for the lion following us before heading across the field in search of a good rock to take home to Grandpa Bruce.  Tonight he was wearing down but determined to get his two shows in - I will not miss the Octonauts even though I have learned alot about deep sea creatures.  We had a quick bath and then two stories.  I will miss his crazy head jumping on my lap and his help reading the stories.  There is something heart breaking about his little mischevious grin when he hides bunny.  I will miss camping out in his room with the stars on the ceiling and the 'pretend' firepit with marshmallows, hot dogs and stinky cheese. 

Tomorrow I will get dressed, pack up my suitcase and like Mary Poppins disappear.  It is time for Mommy and Daddy to come home. 


 

 

A great day to go to the park

 

 MJ has talked about taking Ashby to a park near her old house.  It is in the state park and is an open adventure play are that is ideal for running and climbing.  This afternoon looked like the perfect time. 

It took him a while to figure out this place.  I think he kept looking for an theme or a purpose. But he slowly warmed to the notion.  There were very few other children there for him to study so he had to rely on MJ to lead the way.  By the time we left he was climbing and running and even walking across the 'hanging bridge' - relax Mom it is about 8" off the ground. 

He came home tired, ate a big dinner, had a shower and hair wash (much faster for a tired kidlet) two stories and said - "Good Night Mary Jean" and was out. 

Street creds

A short diversion from the Ashby chronicles. I have discovered that I need street creds if I want to claim to be a Baltimorean.  In idle conversation at a small store, with the nursery school lady or even the dog walker there is some interest that I grew up here.  I quickly learned that Lutherville is equal to Mars.  Towson has a little more cred worthiness since the street car ended there.  Grew up in Loch Raven Village - doesn't even register with real downtown Balmorean's.  The street car never went there and no one from Canton ever aspired to move there.  Maybe Parkville but none of the above.  The real cred is in my trump card.  "My daughter lives in Locust Point, in the block down from my sister."  And in truth, it is really nice to say my sister lives in the next block.  I can't think of anywhere I have ever lived where that statement would get the knowing head nod of approval.  And it is really nice.  Almost makes me want to move here - except who knows where Meagan and MJ will be in a year.  So I guess I will stay in Charlotte - at least that usually elicits - oh I was there once or my cousin moved there. 

Wednesday

For hump day it has been pretty uneventful. We are getting up around 6:30 but tomorrow may be a little earlier since Duke and Ashby seem to be up at 6:15; that would give us a little more time to get ready for school. Today was crazy head day in the morning before we went to his gym class. But after we stopped at Whole Foods and had lunch at home he headed off to nap with no complaints. We lured him up when MJ arrived and she wonderfully offered to take him to the park by herself since the kitchen was littered with work debris and I was going to cook a little dinner.

I am learning from my sister - let the little energetic legs run the errands. So when socks go flying it is easier to wait on the steps while he hunts them down. Energy expended! We are learning to put on our own underwear. I am doing really well, but the little guy is still in the silly stage of two legs together every time before he tries again and gets it right.

This is MJ's story but I will share it. He came home hot and sweaty having climbed to the top of the dragon and then slid down the fireman's pole. Once he conquered it once he was on a mission to perfect his technique.

He wanted to go out after dinner to stomp rockets so he ate quickly and we headed down for a half an hour of stomping. He was far more interested in the other kids especially the boys practicing baseball with Dad's. He persuaded MJ and I to take a turn most so he could watch the boys.

The exchange for going out after dinner was one show, a fast bath and then two stories. He was fast asleep before I finished the dishes. 

Tuesday afternoon

Arrived on time at nursery school for pick-up and we headed out to Chipolte's for lunch. No foodie review except it isn't as good as last time. Nap time was relativity easy since he was tired. He asked if Aunt Mary was coming after nap and I said yes and if he went right to sleep and had a good nap we would all go to the park. Within minutes of hitting the pillow he was gone.

After a slow wake up and some negotiating on if we could all stay home he got dressed, chose a soccer ball and his book bag with the stomping rockets and off we went. After a little soccer and then fire the rockets at MJ and me we slowed down and walked home. Ashby showed MJ how to paint/sticker on the iPad and the tried to get her to play angry birds. It is hard for someone right handed. I quickly wised up and cut off his Internet access since he was about to go on a buying binge for extra help!

Dinner was yummy. Thanks Meagan for the lets dish dinner. Everyone including Ashby cleaned their plates. After some table chat while Ashby played on the floor with his cars we headed up for our new nighttime routine. Mary is taking Octonuts duty while I get snack and bath ready. Tonight was hair washing. We had decided to use the hand shower since he did so well last night with a shower off to get rid of the bubbles. Since we had four hands it went smoothly.

MJ did first story and then headed out to see her poor abandoned hubby. Thank you Bill for sharing her evenings with us. After second story and thee lame songs. "Nana those are stories not songs". Maybe it is Gregorian chant. Despite protestations that he was not tired he was asleep in about 10 minutes.

I have to confess I am not getting him down for nap or bed quite on time. Lunch and play spills over and we do our best to be in bed by 1:30 and then 7:30 at night. Tomorrow morning is gym but it is a later start so I promised him that he could stay in pj's a little later than today.

Tuesday morning

6:15 the intrepid guard dog lumbers up and moves the few feet to Ashby's door. I turn over for 15 minutes more of sleep. Alarm goes off at 6:30 and I open Ashby's door to start the getting up process, pull on sweats and take Duke across for the early morning business. Ashby is waiting for us and ready to play. But I am on a schedule shower, breakfast, dressed and out the door by 8:15 to head to school. My life on timers. 15 minutes of play, followed by an Ocoto segment on tv while I shower and then breakfast, clothes, teeth, sunscreen and out the door at 8:15 on the dot.

My back seat driver gives me directions to the school, we find a parking place and then I can't figure how to get him out of the car seat. Oh! The red button release is on backward and I don't have the strength to push the button. Ashby watches me wondering how I didn't know this simple direction. He asks if I forgot to write it down since I am always referring to the notebook for everything else. I finally free him and we walk over to the school being greeted by a teacher who graciously walks us to his classroom. Along the way Ashby has another worry - did I write down "a hug and a kiss before I leave". I reassure him that I would never forget the hugs and kisses. Now to squeeze in some work before heading back at 11:10 to pick him up.