Today's Ask Amy had a question from a niece who inherited her aunt and uncle's stuff. They had no children or other relatives. The question was about a large painting taken from their 50th anniversary photo. The niece had no room for it, and no one to gift it to. What should she do? It felt wrong to throw it out.
The question got me thinking. We have just updated our wills and they are pretty vanilla. Who ever dies first is left with the task of figuring out what to do with the miscellania of our lives. I think I need to put a note in the box with the wills that says - I collected things I liked, framed pictures of family and events that were interesting to me. They are not sacred. You are not responsible for treating them as treasures. If something is interesting to you keep it, if there is a frame or container you can repurpose, use it. Feel no guilt sending things to goodwill, or a flea market or even burning them in the firepit. They have no cosmic purpose, they were simply interesting to me. My strange collection of crockery, dinner plates, and wine glasses were because I liked to have interesting things to use when we had company. They aren't "heirlooms - well except the Christmas and Thanksgiving plates, and even those were important at a specific point in time to me. Sell them at the estate sale.
So children cull through the detritus of my life, keep what pleases you, sell what is saleable, donate what has a useful second life, toss the rest. Feel no guilt about not wanting to add more stuff to your life just because it turns up in a cupboard in the house. Take it out, look at it, maybe share a laugh about a memory and then without guilt send it on to its next life. I love you all, remember me at my best, don't feel the need to turn my stuff into some sacred icon that has to be treasured.
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