Parenthood - the job that lasts forever

There is no harder job ever than signing up to be a parent. Whether you come to it by surprise, marry into the task, work hard or pay dearly for that amazing day when you go from being M/S no kids to M/S with kid there is no real way to adequately prepare for the change that will occur when the new person arrives in your life - forever. There are no test drives, return if not satisfactory policies or "oops" production overrun sales. There are no do overs when you become a parent.

As a Nana I am now in the enviable position of having hindsight and some days some tiny glimmers of insight into the overwhelming job of becoming a parent. I wandered into the role of motherhood without a real plan for the end game. Each of my children honed my skills as a parent. When I listen to young mothers now I fear I would have failed woefully on the 'good mother' yardstick.

So this is my wisdom: Every child is unique. What works for one will not work for another. In fact with infants and toddlers, what works today will not work tomorrow. Know that the more you thought you knew before the wee one arrives, the less you will know once they are here. Google is great for finding a thousand and one recipes for chicken and directions to obscure restaurants but like Dr. Spock it is not gospel. The reason it takes a village to raise a child is no one person can know everything. There are some decisions that you make or don't make that will effect whether or not your child will go to Harvard but very few of them are made before he or she is 2. Most children who learn to drive are also potty trained and have given up their sookies.

What is important: Sleep - for the parents. The old adage that it will look better in the morning was coined because a good nights sleep gives you hope of survival for another day. Pick your battles. You can not make your child sleep, eat, or potty on command (at least I don't think you can). It takes several years before they can begin plotting against you! Babies and children have internal rhythms. As parents we can help shape them but it is an uphill battle to ignore them. Be kind to yourself. The fact that you are worried and thinking about what is good for your child means you are already a good parent. Will you always get it right - NO. Will you usually get it right - YES.

Looking back I wish I had played more and worked less. If I could do it over I would have made more time for bedtime rituals like bubble baths and stories, I would have worried less about a clean house and more about listening. To all of the parents of my grand's - you are doing a great job, thank you for sharing their lives with me.