Fresh air

Seasonal depression is a really annoying problem. It sneaks up on you over the long gray days of winter. Slowly you begin to sleep later, no longer being awakened by the sun peaking through the edges of the blinds or the morning sounds of the neighborhood. Everthing is muffled slightly. Mornings when the sun is bright and sky is blue trick you into thinking spring is near but a quick walk out on the back deck reminds you that it is still too cold and wet to work garden, and a coat, hat a gloves will be needed for a walk.
I know this cycle, I have lived with the cycle all my life so I can't quite figure out why I am always surprised. When we lived in Canada it started in late November and lasted until the end of March, reaching a crescendo in February before ever so slowly loosening its grip as the days began to get longer and the snow and ice slowly melted from the north side of the yard.
When we moved to North Carolina I was ever so hopeful. For the first several years we had months of glorious weather. I could bundle up in a heavy sweater and sit in the sun on the deck in December. Winter cold was kept where it belonged in West Virginia - a place to visit, enjoy the cold and then pack up and come home to the land of sunny mornings.
This year winter came early in the south. It swooped in before I was ready. The garden was not cleared of debris, the bushes were not cut back. There it was - cold, wet, miserable weather that keeps you in the house. Now that I have cleaned off my rearview mirror and gotten a pretty good look at where I have been, I am making an effort to beat the blues. I have gone back to the gym - yes exercise is good for the soul - and have given myself a new goal of cleaning out the garden 6 feet at at time. All of you ADHD friends know that my biggest challenge is thinking small - just a few feet at a time, especially when the view from the windows is the whole enchilada as I read my Southern Living magazine while visions of sugar plums and maybe a fountain dance in my head. So back to the real world. I cleared out the dead daisies and am slowly cutting back the edging plants. I am limiting myself to no more than one hour a day. I am almost to the unruly rose bushes.
I am obsessed with my garden or lack thereof. For some unknown reason I feel that the garden and my mind are linked - a messy garden and a messy mind. You can drive up and look at the front yard and know how I am doing, you never have to come in. Are the roses wild, are the day lilies a mess, are the shrubs unruly. My mind is probably in the same shape. Wish me luck - I am tackling the roses this weekend. I will probably end up scratched and bleeding - landscape roses look wonderful in the spring and summer but if left untrimmed in the fall they become brier patches. But if I can hack them back into submission I have great hope for my mind.