Dear Dad

Wednesday was Dad's birthday. It fell in the middle of a hectic week planning his sister's funeral. My Aunt Jane was a a "Maiden Lady" of 89 years of age. She has always been an enigma to everyone who loved her.

She died on her own terms, alone neatly covered in her childhood single bed with no fanfare. Her next door neighbor knew that they could set their watch by the time she came to the door to get her Baltimore Sun and New York Times. When she did not appear for the second day they called the apartment management, setting in motion a chain of events that found her dead in her bed. For those of us left behind it was our greatest fear that she would die alone. For her she died on her own terms, in her own bed, her apartment clean, her important papers out to be found. Tomorrow we will all gather to pray for her soul and then go with Mom to visit Dad.

Dad, what I want to tell you is we did the right thing in the face of turmoil. We were there to support Mom, we made sure Aunt Jane had the right wake, we told stories about memories from Woodlawn Road and Grandmother and Pop Shaw. I told stories about my childhood Aunt who wore silk and perfume. Who took me to the Walter's gallery. Matt, David, Pacey and Carol were there to share memories.

I am sure it confused the funeral home that were so many Benson women there. Pacey, Carol, and I all use our maiden names. I want you to know that we still hear your voice that no matter the circumstances we should always do the right and honorable thing. And you are right I will sleep peacefully.

Aunt Jane, I wish all of the cousins and great cousins knew you like I did. But if I learn nothing else from this time it will be to laugh more freely, to dare to be wrong more often because chances are I might be right and that accepting help doesn't diminish me but creates threads of links between me and the world. I want my wake to be a party with silly stories of moments shared and I need to start now creating those opportunities. Good-by Aunt Jane, I wish you peace and happiness as you cross the rainbow bridge.