Vanity the ultimate gotcha.

Vanity 1. Heels, shoes. They were my addiction. I loved being able to wear heels, sandals, cute shoes. Even if they were slightly uncomfortable sometimes I would muster through knowing that the day I put them away in favor of more comfortable footwear I was on the downward slope to old age.

Gotcha 1. What appeared to be a minor injury to my ankle from a work accident turned into a year long recovery process and a long term swelling of one ankle. Another year was spent with a vein guy inching my way to a possible improvement. My ankles are no longer almost black with veins but now I have a good leg and a bad leg. There are no cures for the swelling in one leg and ankle. I can wear compression hose and it is more comfortable but not a cure. If I vainly want to go out at night in a dress and heels I can wear compression hose all day and whip them off before going out and it works for about 4 hours before the swelling starts and the cankles return.

Vanity 2. Year and thousands of dollars spent keeping my hair blonde and a good cut. Dreading the day I cut it short and gave up on big hair and became old.

Karma 2. It is either stress or fate but my hair is falling out and thinning at an alarming rate. The stylist says stress, it will grow back. Give it a rest, less heat of blow drying, fewer chemicals to keep it styled and it will heal. Great - I still have to show up in the office 5 days a week as the oldest person in the building, older than 90% of the mothers of my co-workers. Natural, unblown or curled or sprayed or moussed will not do! Interim solution a wig. My best and most honest opinion giver shopped with me to find a solution. The ultimate irony! The first week I work it to work people who never spoke to me stopped me and said how great I looked. Is the inverse how bad I looked before?

Next post Vanity 3 Hearing.

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Apartment living

This is not a complaint, it is an observation. I live in an apartment in Atlanta. It is my work home, my weekend home is in Charlotte. When deciding where to leave the "full size" face wash versus the gift size I always think take the smaller one with you to Atlanta. The logic is flawed. I wash my face in Atlanta five nights a week and Charlotte two. The same is true with clothes. Every week I bring home clothes and figure out my wardrobe for the coming week and take clothes back. Where is the logic. I wash, iron, send my clothes to the cleaner in Atlanta. Why don't I think about what I will be doing in Charlotte and decide if I need dress clothes for there or if capris, golf skirts and yoga pants will do.

Noise, light, air. I have a nice apartment with lots of space. I have only one neighbor, upstairs. No one on either side. Some mornings my upstairs neighbor is a reminder to truly get up it is morning. Some nights I think he must be a Sumo wrestler bouncing across the floor making everything shake. Luckily he goes to sleep by 11 which is when I usually fall asleep. Light. I have blinds and security lights that shine all night. It is never dark. Probably good if I were to venture out at 3am. Less wonderful when trying to sleep. AIR and light That is the biggie. My air conditioner or heater work great. I have a door to the deck. But my apartment by my choosing when I thought Miss Zena would come here with me is ground floor. So leaving the blinds really open and cracking windows isn't happening. I open the door to the deck and then living room blinds when I get home, but close them before bed. I miss my home where my blinds are open and the window in my bedroom is always cracked open. I think I breathe better.

All in all it has given me a good test run on could I live in 1000 sq ft with one bathroom, one bedroom with someone else. NO. So I guess I better keep working.

 

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Vanity is a cruel teacher

I love shoes. Specifically I love heels. For years I have always worn heels to work or anytime I get dressed up. I have worn them everyday, walked miles in them. Worn them in good times and bad. I had three pairs of the same shoes. Black pumps that went everywhere. I bought them on sale 3 at a time, I kept a pair in my car just in case a pair met with disaster, like the day I caught my heel in the brick sidewalk in Old Town and snapped it off. No fear another pair came to the rescue. Then as time wore on and the everyday shoes became less used I graduated to better heels. Ones that were not the workhorse of every day, not Prada or anything wild just better shoes. I loved them all. When someone said why don't you wear flats I could honestly say my back felt better in a heel. Then fashion got the best of me. Spikes, 3" heels became the go to shoe. I have two pairs and even in my best heel walking days these were just uncomfortable. So,there I was in 2 1/2 heels. Almost old lady shoes. But i persevered. And then the final blow. After a work accident that took a hunk out of my ankle and took more than a year to heal, I now have unrepairable, always lurking donut ankle. Just one but who is counting.

I love Falll and Winter because I can wear boots. Not teetering 3" boots but respectable height boots. Tall boots and ankle boots because you don't see the inevitable "donut ankle" by afternoon. Spring, summer, warm fall days are relegated to unimaginative flats or wedges. Now that I work in an office 5 days a week where people know me, the last thing I want is staring at my puffy ankle in an oh so cute heel. Vanity, oh cruel,vanity you have done me in. This spring I'll do one more round of spider vein therapy to reduce the blotchy red ankles, but I know that is a short term fix that will permit cute flats or low wedges before I am consigned forever to plain "please don't look at my feet shoes" and ultimately support hose year round. Old age has so many gotchas that strip away those little vanities.

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